Beginner

Name: The All-Talker

Tagline: Aw, he still has dreams.

Description: He might not have a lot of clout in the industry, but his bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed demeanor is bound to book you at least one Quinceanera. Just tell him when he’s getting scammed (unless it’s by you).

Intermediate

Name: The Straight Shooter

Tagline: He’s middle-of-the-road, but that road leads to a stadium.

Description: A bit more experienced, this guy will get the job done. He’ll book you the Crypto Superdome AND convince the label you deserve a 30-minute tuba solo.

Expert

Name: The Puppet Master

Tagline: Strings, meet puller.

Description: He’s guided the best from table scraps to truckloads of caviar (do not picture the smell). He’ll send you to the moon (or high enough to burn upon re-entry).